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[Monday, October 12th at 10:00 pm] |
it seems that after several long weeks (now months) without posting i always find myself back here, head hung in shame, the neglectful memory keeper. i found an entry saved in text edit that i failed to post over the summer:
it is already the tail end of june and unlike other years i haven't found myself wishing the clock to fast forward to september. i remember ignoring the requests sent into my work inbox, the stacks of paperwork to be inputted into the computer, halting the steady traffic of administrative obligations for a few minutes to stare out my window, past the strip of rooftop gravel, at the city, colorful and alive, while i remained on the other side with florescent lighting and air conditioning turned up too high. i hated the the meagre offerings of the corporate world, its attempts to give us some semblance of the season, that only served to highlight what we were clearly missing out on. every year they gave away free ice cream in the lobby, doled out by uniformed employees, which i ate in front of my desktop monitor, wiping my keyboard with kleenexes as it melted off the cone. just a few weeks ago, i received the phone call that lured me back into the carpeted aisles of the office. my need for money wins out every time. but i have only three or four weeks left on my contract before camp and then i can return to enjoying summer as i was meant to.
there are nights when i stay awake on the internet, scrolling through blogs and entries on livejournal, wishing i was there instead, stomping around new orleans in high-heeled shoes, attending music festivals in the deserts of california -heck, picking up my daughters from a public school in brooklyn, new york. then i think of what i have, and realize that my life is small but bursting at the seams. i am happy, but more than anything else, i am content.
i purchased a used bike yesterday. i've named her lucy. she is badly in need of a paint job and a new saddle, but i took her out for a ride in the rain, and fell in love. |
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